I had the opportunity to go to Jackson this Sunday, to go watch Phi Mu kick butt in All-Sing. And we did. It was pretty specacular, no contest this year, and I'm not just saying that.
I love going back to Jackson. I miss everyone and everything so much. I love the time I get to spend there, but every time I have to leave I get depressed again. It never fails. I cried off and on all the way Sunday night. It has taken very little to get the tears rolling today, and I imagine it will be that way for the rest of the week at least.
I feel like such an idiot for leaving school. I know I did it for a reason, but when I go back it just gets harder and harder. I would be graduating in a month. I would have a senior bucket with my name on it at the Phi Mu house, getting ready for senior retreat. I miss my Phi class so much, I don't think most of those girls know what they mean to me. So many of my girls got dropped this year and I didn't even know about it til this weekend. It's so hard being away, especially when I have no clue where my life is headed at the moment.
Even as I'm writing this I'm getting more water spots on my glasses. I can't help it. If I were still at school I think I would have a better grasp on my life. I would have a plan, some idea of the direction I'm going.
I want so bad to be a strong woman of God, but I am having such a hard time. I feel so broken right now.
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