Mushy Brains

So.I am tired of being a server and working in a flipping restaurant. I feel like I am wasting my time. It's not paying the bills and it's turning my brain into mush. I feel like it doesn't take near the thinking power that my brain needs. Sure it can be fun when we are super busy and I have a lot of things on my plate, but that's not very often. I don't have a constant outlet to channel the creativity and thinking that needs to happen to make me happy. A lot of this is coming on at once because one of my good friends just landed an unbelievable REAL job,another friend transfered to a new school, and yet another is going to school.

I am so confused about what I want to get out of this life. I know God's got this amazing plan for me, but it's hard not knowing what it is when everyone else around me is figuring out the puzzle. I know that a lot of my friends and family expect more of me, I expect more of me, God expects more of me. Maybe that's the problem, I thought I had handed it all over to Him, maybe there still some more to give.

Here are the things I know: I love being creative;I love listening to and making music, acting, singing,anything and everything artistic, even if I'm not that good at it. I love helping people, and making people smile. More than anything, if I had the finances, I would travel to places all over the US that have been torn apart by natural disasters. That is definitely one of my long-term goals. Who knows when and if it will happen, but I do have hope.

The best part of my week, for sure, is Sunday night. My small group of girls from BUMC amaze me every time we get together. They are so awesome. We have a really tight knit group and I love it. Sunday night is definitely the best day of my week, because of these girls.

This blog seems kind of selfish, I'm sure. I know there are people going through stuff a lot worse than this, but I needed to vent a little. I know it won't be the last venting either, in the weeks to come.

Thanks for listening.Join us next time for ramblings Through Hazel's Eyes.

Hazel (aka Jayna)